Silence speaks volumes

Amazing how easy it is to not say things. You refuse to share your thoughts and feelings for fear of the ramifications or the argument to ensue. And so begins the rise of the fall. You hold things back you let them fester, it builds, it tears a hole in your heart. You don't know what to do or where to start you just know that something isn't right. You hold it in like a secret treasure, something meant for only you. You think about it from time to time allowing it to tear a bigger hole in your heart...all the while you say nothing. You figure why it's pointless, it will only fall on deaf ears and a big mouth and either way you will be hurt and the hole in your heart gets bigger. Damned if you do damned if you don't. In your heart you know this can lead to no good...no good comes from hidden emotions and secret silences. If only there was a way to say "I'm tired of being pushed away" or "please don't berate and belittle...it breaks my heart when you do". The words don't seem easy to say they seem like a lighted match to a gas tank. Like I'm wielding a knife. So to avoid the pain and disaster I keep silent as my heart breaks no matter what. I hope one day to fill the hole.....one day!!